Sunday, April 5, 2015

A Life Worth Living

"Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life"

If that was a question, my answer will be... I have thought about it, once, a long time ago.
My life has been quite a roller-coaster. There are this time when I'm in such a high place, happy and feels like on top of the world. But there is too, time when I'm in a very low place. Literally flat to the ground, if you need an image.
But those ups and downs, only make me stronger. Hence, it is... what doesn't kill you make you stronger. I know it looks like easy for me to just say it. Well trust me... been there, done that. That's why ending your life is never an option. And it's not just an empty saying, because if I manage to survive. Why don't you?
I know too, different people probably different circumstances. But all we need is one: A will, to earn a better life and stay okay.
Of course there are times when everything just seems hopeless and dark. For me it was when my parents got divorced. What made me feel like I wanna kill myself was not exactly the divorce, but a long and hurtfull process before it. Seeing your parents that you love so much bickering with each other all day long is such an ugly experience, no?
I was only 17 at that time, a really unfortunate age to lost a parent figure. Oh, don't be mistaken, my mom and my dad both are wonderful person. It's just when they were together they were the worst. And their divorce process kind of take all their time that they no longer put much attention to me and my brother.
But as an old Indonesian saying, badai pasti berlalu. So does my storm. Sekarang hidup gue sudah baik-baik saja. I live a perfectly fine life right now... of course the damage had been done, I'm still a person who once ever wish to die just because I'm too sad.
But thinking about it now, looking back to that time... I'm smiling, that bad experience bring out the best in me.

So if right now, you feel stuck and feel like your life isn't worthy anymore. Don't. You're matter. If not for someone else, you're matter... to you.

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