Monday, May 25, 2015

It Sucks, Gotta Live It Anyway

Hello, blog-land!
It’s been a while since the last time I write anything here.
Truth be told, I’m not currently in a mood to write because lately I’ve been in this bad place, personally. You know, the whole soon 25 and it makes me confuse thingy.

So I don’t really have anything to share in this post, I just think it’s been quite sometimes I haven’t talked to the internet. What’s the point of having a blog after all, huh?
Actually, if you still feeling like you can believe me—which proven at some point that you better not—I do have so many things prepared to blog already. I’m not lying, I have these bunch of topics listed down on my book of idea ready to write, but then again… don’t believe my excuse, it’s lame.

Well, I have a question: do you ever feel at some point in life, you feel so busy and have no time spare to even sit and having a deep thought about yourself?
That’s what happened to me sometimes yesterday. I’ve been too busy to keep myself busy, even though I do aware that actually I can do so much more important stuff with my time instead of just keep doing what I do.
And in the end when I finally sit myself and thinking through everything, that’s where reality hits me, what a useless life I’ve been living. Then the next bad and stupid thing I do is to catch up with some of my friends’ life… through their social media. Oh yeah, stalking alert! Which is definitely a stupid, stupid thing to do. Because news flash my friend, if you’re currently in a bad place about yourself, looking through your friends’ social media life—where everything already bedazzled with goodness and filters with hundred layers of perfection that only social media can offer—is a major bad idea.

Human live with a scary amount of enviousness within us, no sugar coating stuff, even the holiest people on earth I believe ever compare his life with someone else’s life. It’s our self-control that shield us from such thing, and maybe that’s what differ me from the holiest people on earth… who by their awesome capability to control their mind and feeling, me in the other hand is a mere ordinary human who once took a glance on other’s so-called perfect life, drown in the enviousness. It’s like everything you think is wrong with yourself, was true… that’s how I feel when I’m starting to compare my life with another people’s life. Yeah of course it’s easy to say, “So just don’t compare your life with other person’s life then. Grow up and be thankful of what you already had!” You want the hard truth, honey? In some point of your life, you gonna answer: Be thankful my ass, there’s nothing to be thankful for.
Sorry if I sound so childish and senseless in this post, but this is the truth.

Again, it’s not like I’m the most miserable person on earth. Not at all. I might be currently jobless and have no idea what I’m going to do with my life right now. But I do granted by a house that I can rest in comfortably, food that I can eat whenever I’m hungry, family that eventhough sometimes driving me crazy but still it’s a decent loving family.
It’s just, reality sucks. And comparing your life with others also sucks.
There will always be something that we don't have and other people have. It might be a little thing or a big thing. But there will always be a thing.

And right now, I’m not in a positive mood to give an enlightening closing to this post. Yet I’m glad I have this blog to spill the bean, it’s one of the best thing that I have actually—the ability to speak my mind.
Life is, a never ending roller coaster that we gotta ride anyway… so I guess when this kind of shitty feeling comes up, we just got to swallowed it and move on. Sure it feels weird and wrong and confusing now, maybe it will always be. I’m just hoping someday I’m gonna realize why everything that been happening now is do happened for a reason.

The one who hope things gonna make more sense someday

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