Saturday, June 18, 2016

We Owe It To Ourselves To Be This Kind of Woman

I'm kind of in the mood of sharing inspiration/self-love stuff lately—as you may already noticed. And this particular article from Thought Catalog is definitely need to be read by more people, it is THAT important. 
Since I was a child, I always am the stand-tall-alone type of girl. I'm not a big fan of the obligation to get attached to other people for whatever reason. No, not because I'm anti-social. I simply just enjoy my own company more.
The following points in this article are basically sum up how it feels like to be that kind of person. And yes, we do owe it to ourselves to be this kind of woman.


This may not come naturally to you at first, and that is okay. It might take years of conscious practise on your part, to eventually feel confident and comfortable with who you really are at the very core. But take that time, and be sure to get yourself there. You owe it to your heart and your soul to honour them, always. And don’t ever let anyone make you feel as though you won’t be accepted for who you are. If you feel the need to make changes and to better yourself, please do, as long as you are making those changes for you, and for nobody else.

Never, ever, do anything to solely please somebody else. If saying yes makes you happy, then say it. If saying no will make you happier, then say it. Don’t hesitate. If you’re reading this, it’s likely that you have a high level of choice and freedom in the way you lead your life, and the choices you are able to make daily. You’re one of the lucky ones. Don’t ever willingly hand over your gift of freedom to somebody else. Compose yourself, decide what you want, and express that decision with confidence. Never feel guilty for doing what feels right, or for who you are in this moment. You don’t owe anyone a dime.

Our defence mechanism will instinctively raise our guards, and prepare us for war when we believe we are coming under attack. But as the saying goes, an eye for an eye will only end up making the whole world blind. Hitting back in anger will not undo what was done to us. And it cannot, and will not, make us feel better in the long run. Distance yourself from those who continually choose to bruise you. Don’t tarnish yourself with the toxic paint from someone else’s brush. You were born with the strength to rise above it. Turn the other cheek, and don’t waste another precious one of your thoughts or seconds on the way others choose to behave. That is none of your business. Don’t choose to make it so. Continue to carry yourself with the grace and integrity that you always have done.

Kindness is possibly the most important one of all. A true act of kindness can only come from someone who carries a good heart. Anyone can have a good heart, so long as they choose it. If ever you find yourself at rock bottom with seemingly nothing to offer; know that you will always find the gift of kindness residing within you, ready to pour out of your soul, and into the lives of others. Whichever path you choose to take, be sure to be kind to everyone you meet along your way, including those who can do nothing for you. You will meet them all again, someday.
But don’t forget to be kind to yourself. We are often our own worst critics, and tend to dwell on mistakes, and not pay nearly enough attention to all of our successes and triumphs. All of us could do with a sprinkle of kindness on each of our days. You never know the kind of day that somebody else might be having. Your words or actions might just be everything they are desperately seeking.

We know that all of our looks will begin to fade one day. We know. Yet we choose to side-line this knowledge. We place such high importance on the physical appearance of ourselves and of others; quietly knowing that it shouldn’t matter, but somehow finding that is still does. We often discount the real, hidden beauty that can be found within. Ask yourself, if everybody was blind, how many people would you really impress? Start by bettering yourself from the inside, and the outside will follow in turn.
When it comes to relationships, don’t make the vain mistake of choosing the person who is the most beautiful, choose the person who makes your world the most beautiful place that you can imagine. And know that the you right now is beautiful, regardless of if anyone sees your beauty or not. Just because something cannot be seen, it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Trust me when I tell you, people will always be able to feel it.

The feeling of being afraid is a good one, because it reminds us we are all human and not a damn single one of us is invincible. It reminds us that we are alive. It reminds us that we are so very small and fragile. Sometimes you will feel a little fragile. Maybe a whole lot fragile. But know that fear is merely a hologram; an image we conjure up ourselves from the darkest depths of our souls.
Battle your way through the fear, and confront the voices in your head that will always be there trying to convince you that you are worthless and incapable of greatness. The more times you do anything, the easier it becomes. You will probably look back a year later, and wonder what the hell you were so scared of in the first place. It’s just life. Don’t find yourself at the end of it wishing you had challenged yourself more, pushed yourself harder, worried less, and taken more risks.

Hating her won’t make you feel, or do, any better. Jealousy doesn’t suit you anything like happiness does. And what you need to know, is that having what she has won’t truly make you happy, because you are not her. Her path is so very different to yours. Your needs and deepest desires are innate to you, and only you.
We need to lift each other’s spirits up high, send out the warmest of wishes, and embark on our own journeys of success. When you radiate genuine kind and positive thoughts, those are what you shall receive back from the universe. Wise men and women will never enter the ring with karma. They know better.

You have to fall in love with yourself, first and foremost. You need to be whole on your own. Don’t purposely leave yourself incomplete, naively believing that someone else is meant to fill in your blank spaces. They cannot. They can only add to the foundations you have already built within you; but those foundations are down to you. Make them as strong and unbreakable as you can, for they will need to last you a lifetime.
Discover what excites you, and what you loathe, what turns you on, and what keeps you lying wide awake in deep thought at night. Find out who you really are, because only then will you be able to see the one you are meant to be looking for. Take your time. The world will still be here, waiting. Love has no time-keepers.

Don’t ever be waiting for someone to pick you up off the floor and shake you awake to your life. If you do find yourself in a time of need, be still, and look inside yourself. Everything we could need will already be residing quietly within us; waiting patiently for us to seek it out. It all rests on your shoulders. Your life will be what YOU choose to make of it. Maybe you’re not quite where you hoped you would be by now. But that’s okay. Just keep going forward. Sometimes you will crawl, and sometimes you will fly. You are amazing; don’t ever forget that. Encourage yourself. Fight hard for what you want. Believe in yourself, and the message you are carrying here on this earth, for no one’s message will be the same as yours.

Friday, June 17, 2016

Little Happy Habits

Credit: These wonderful bits and bobs below are not mine. It's something I read here and there then jotted down on my journal as a reminder and as an ultimate guide that I practice almost religiously (yet sometimes I did hilariously failed). Although I don't exactly remember where are these tips originally came from, still, I want to share these amazing 25 happy habits that you should too considering do and include in your days!

1. Take pictures of yourself when you're feeling happy, not looking perfect.

2. Do dishes as you dirty them.

3. Keep less stuff. Don't keep anything in your space that isn't purposeful or meaningful.

4. Don't shop as an activity.

5. Learn to cook something you like more than what your favorite restaurants makes.

6. Talk about things that aren't people.

7. Stop judging others, even if you're right about them.

8. Drink enough water.

9. Make time to do the things you loved to do when you were littlewatch Disney movies, coloring, play out in the rain.

10. Let your negative feelings guide you, rather than suppress you.

11. Call your person.

12. Keep flowers on the table and light candles at night.

13. Wake up remembering that every morning is a fresh start.

14. Eat good things for your body.

15. Don't procrastinate.

16. Always put your clothes away.

17. Be nice to everyone, even if they aren't nice to you.

18. Peel your gaze away from the computer screen away every 20 minutes to give your eyes a rest then continue your work.

19. Don't delay answering email and messages.

20. Practice mindfulness with others. When having a conversation, be fully present in what the other person is saying and keep it two-way talk.

21. Take a nap if you can, but keep it under 30 minutes.

22. Give yourself a boost of caffeine once in a while.

23. Remind yourself that your body is not something for you or others to judge.

24. Read one chapter of a book per day, you'll most likely to be finished within a month.

25. Laugh. Laugh a genuine laughter.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Keep Calm and Keep Calm

For all the time I've been doing an unnecessary amount of self-talk here, I think this will be the first time I'm talking thoroughly about my job.
I used to dreamlike hundreds oblivious youngsters out there, to have a glamorous, awesome, out of the world kind of job. Tapi hidup mana sih yang semulus itu? Bukan hidup gue yang jelas.

Setelah lulus kuliah, gue lumayan lama menganggur di rumah... bukan lama lagi sih, lama banget! Alasannya adalah karena waktu itu gue adalah satu-satunya perempuan di rumah, jadi gue memiilh untuk menunda mimpi gue dan sementara stay saja di rumah, mengurus ayah dan adik gue.
Keputusan yang sebenarnya diam-diam masih gue sesali sampai detik ini. Kalau saja gue tidak memilih jalan itu, karir gue akan dimulai satu setengah tahun lebih awal. And who knows where would I be now?
Tapi kembali lagi, masanya sudah berlalu. Gue mau pelihara gondok dalam hati karena merasa salah pilih jalan juga nggak ada gunanya lagi sekarang.
Lalu akhirnya, gue mulai bekerja. Di tempat dan di bidang yang jauuuuh dari rencana dan cita-cita gue. Di sebuah travel agent yang masih merintis dengan gaji yang sedang-sedang saja.
Di awal masa bekerja gue, I loathe myself for being trapped working there. Gue masih punya ambisi untuk mencari pekerjaan yang menurut gue lebih pantas untuk diri gue. Hanya saja, mencari pekerjaan itu kan susah-susah gampang ya... dan ternyata lebih susah lagi mencari pekerjaan sambil bekerja full-time.
Beberapa bulan lewat dan gue mulai belajar menikmati ritme pekerjaan gue. Masih belajar, bahkan, hingga sekarang. Pekerjaan ini terhitung sulit untuk gue dengan alasan yang sebenarnya nggak bisa dijadikan alasan: gue nggak mempersiapkan diri gue untuk bekerja di bidang ini. Jadilah semua yang gue kerjakan sekarang terasa baru, asing, dan membingungkan. Makanya nggak jarang gue melakukan kesalahan dalam bekerja. Satu, dua kali bahkan terhitung hampir fatal.
Truth be told, I'm not yet in the place where I can fully enjoy my job. Gue masih dalam tahap working to pay the rent. Yang penting uangnya.
Dalam hati yang terdalam gue masih berdoa untuk mendapatkan sesuatu yang lebih baik, pekerjaan yang bisa menjadi passion gue. Or at least, to finally fall in love with my current job for the sake of the job itself.
Bukan cuma sekali gue sempat berpikir untuk nekat resign dan mencetuskan sendiri horor dalam hidup gue, horor karena harus kembali jobless. Tapi gue nggak seberani itu. Ada juga kalanya gue pengen ngebalik meja kerja lalu keluar kantor detik itu juga sambil ngamuk-ngamuk karena kesal dengan pola kerja kantor yang terkadang bisa nggak ada cocok-cocoknya dengan cara kerja gue.
Seriously, though... jargon Keep Calm and Drink Tea itu super sulit kalau sudah dihubungkan dengan urusan pekerjaan. Gue rasa nggak cuma gue saja yang merasa begitu. Boro-boro minum teh, minum air mineral saja bawaannya pengen nyembur kan ya?
So basically, it take all my strength and my determination to control myself and to tone down my ego to keep up with my work. Pun kayanya nggak cuma di kantor yang sekarang saja. Kalau suatu hari gue akan pindah pekerjaan, hal yang sama pasti akan kembali terulang. Mungkin itu sebabnya ada pepatah, tumbuhlah di mana kamu ditanam. Bukan pekerjaan kita yang harus menyesuaikan diri kita, tapi kita yang harus pintar-pintar putar otak dan olah rasa supaya bisa bertahan di pekerjaan kita... that's why they pay us for work, no?